Peaches and Cream.
Written Wednesday, May 27, 2020·
Prompt – “Living In Liminal Space.”
PEACHES AND CREAM, a screenplay story.
Greta is an athletic thirty-something woman in colorful, cool-weather exercise clothing. She is walking. We see her stylish running shoes rolling with each step over the sidewalk. She swings her arms, her eyes smile. She wears a white mask with blue flowers on it. She passes storefronts and other people who appear in more drab colors walking slowly. She waves as she passes around them at a distance.
Now, inside a grocery store, Greta pushes a cart, adding healthy-looking foods in a happy carefree manner as if cost were not a problem. She stops at the produce section. The vegetables and fruits glow with color. She ponders a pyramid of golden apples. She carefully selects three and places them in a cloth mesh bag she has brought with her to reduce the use of plastic.
Greta stops at a glass case and ponders the many types of ice cream. She chooses a half-gallon of Peaches & Cream with real peaches. Her mind dips into a memory of her father making homemade ice cream. He sits at the kitchen table of her childhood home turning the crank of the ice cream maker. He is struggling. Greta offers to help. Her father is amazed at how easy it is for her to turn the crank. Her mother joins them to watch her. Both parents have broad smiles. Greta begins to cough. Her mother pulls three face masks from her apron pocket. They place them over their noses and mouths. Greta can still see their eyes smiling at her in approval.
Greta shivers a moment and rubs her arms. She is back in the grocery store aisle. She places the container of ice cream on top of the full cart and heads to the check out line. The other customers in their drab colors move slowly in the background.
Sam, a tall trim man in his forties, wears a white apron and blue mask as he passes Greta’s groceries over the scanner. The beeping of the scanner is rhythmic and professional. He glances up at Greta and says.
“You look good today. It looks like you are planning a feast.”
“I’m really hungry for some reason,” she says pulling out her credit card.
“Did you find everything you need?” Sam asks.
“Yes, I think so, but…” she hesitates. “The store seems awfully cold today?”
"Oh, I know. Sorry about that. Better for your health," he says.
Sam returns her card and in doing so touches her wrist. He waits a moment before looking back up at her. “Very good,” he says.
Greta finishes at the checkout counter and straps on two huge, white cloth bags, one hanging on each shoulder like duffel bags. With hardly any effort she waltzes out of the store. On her way home, she stops where people are begging for money. Gretta gives each one of them some of the groceries from her bags. They all respond with gratitude, clasping their hands together in the style of “Nameste”. Greta returns the gesture.
When nearly all of the groceries are gone, Greta continues down the street. She looks around to see if anyone is watching her. She turns down a side street that passes by a park. She takes a breath, then runs slowly at first. Her strides are effortless and graceful. She raises her arms in front of her and strokes downward as if swimming. Her limbs feel powerful. She lifts off the ground in flight. Now with every stroke, she flys higher until she can look down on the park.There is a stream and the beginnings of a lush forest. The sun is bright, but the air is cold. Her mask peels off her face. She grasps for it, but it gets away. She touches her face and then blows into her hands to warm her fingers.
Greta lands atop her apartment building. She looks over the edge to see her elderly neighbors raking leaves around the community garden. One young neighbor woman plays with her large white dog. He looks very much like a polar bear. It is beginning to snow.
Greta walks into her kitchen. She removes the mesh bag of perfect yellow apples. She rinses the apples in the sink and then places them in a blue ceramic bowl on the kitchen table. The interior of the bowl is decorated with snow-capped mountains. It reads "Rocky Mountain High." Greta pulls a spoon out of a drawer and sits down at the table with the container of ice cream. She takes a mouthful and lets it melt a little in on her tongue before she chews. She smiles. Tears run from her closed eyes.
_________________________________We are in a hospital ward with a doctor, several nurses, and a few interns. They all wear full protective clothing including gloves, masks, and face shields. Amidst many machines and sensors, an elderly patient lies face down on a specially configured hospital bed. There are large, cooling pillows supporting her in this posture, a tube runs into her mouth. A white sheet covers her from the waist down.
A nurse dabs tears away from the patient’s eyes. When the cloth comes away we can see that the elderly patient is Greta who has been dreaming.
The doctor is Sam the man who checked Greta out at the grocery. He has been explaining the daily care for the patient.
“... and so the nurses move the patient’s limbs and adjust the posture every two hours to prevent bedsores. The less time in a coma the better.”
Sam reviews a clipboard in his gloved hands “Greta Broadwin, 75, is doing well. Her pulse and vitals are strong, lungs 70% clear. We are planning to take her off the system in another day or so if she continues to improve.
One of the interns, a young woman with glasses, leans over Greta and notices her eyes moving under the lids.
Sam continues, “You can see that she is in deep REM sleep. The crying is just the body keeping the eyes moist.”
“Doctor, she is dreaming then?”
“Yes, pretty much on and off all day. Although they are only liminally aware of their surroundings.”
“What do you suppose they dream about?” the intern askes the attending nurse. Before the nurse can answer the intern rushes off to rejoin the group on their way to the next patient. The machines continue to beep rhythmically.
The nurse turns back to Greta and gently pets her hair.
_________________________________Back in her dream, Greta slowly chews the Peaches & Cream. Her father stands by her side in the kitchen, stroking her hair as she eats. “It’s good, Daddy.” She reaches up to touch his hand on her head. “But not as good as yours.” Together they watch snowflakes gently fall outside the window.
THE END.
Copyright © ℗ 2020 by Ken Oguss All Rights Reserved.
1,131 words.
NOTES AND REFERENCES:
Prompt – “Living In Liminal Space.”
DEFINITION of liminal
1 : of, relating to, or situated at a sensory threshold : barely perceptible or capable of eliciting a response
liminal visual stimuli
2 : of, relating to, or being an intermediate state, phase, or condition : IN-BETWEEN, TRANSITIONAL … in the liminal state between life and death.
1 : of, relating to, or situated at a sensory threshold : barely perceptible or capable of eliciting a response
liminal visual stimuli
2 : of, relating to, or being an intermediate state, phase, or condition : IN-BETWEEN, TRANSITIONAL … in the liminal state between life and death.
AUTHOR’S NOTE:
Wednesday, May 27, 2020. I started writing last night but stopped to eat dinner. Then I found an article about the lucid dreaming of patients in a coma. (linked below) I went to bed and slept on it.
This morning I awoke with an insight and a different direction.This second draft of Peaches & Cream, is more like a screenplay than a typical short story, hence the emphasis on visual description.
COMMENTS FROM READERS:
Allen FerreiraAllen Ferreira Lovely . The flying caught me off guard, but a little reflection brings the reader to see it as a normal state for our protagonist. I like beginning in the dream and then completely outside her. She’s locked in there for now, and we’re locked out. Yet the external reality of beeping machines and care personnel is reflected in the sounds and sights inside her mind. The use of color vs. lack of color makes it visually interesting. Same with the fruit and taste. Interestingthat Interesting that the doc has some insight into what’s going on inside Greta, but not a clue about its intensity. Nicely constructed story that needs to be read more than once.
Allen FerreiraAllen Ferreira Lovely . The flying caught me off guard, but a little reflection brings the reader to see it as a normal state for our protagonist. I like beginning in the dream and then completely outside her. She’s locked in there for now, and we’re locked out. Yet the external reality of beeping machines and care personnel is reflected in the sounds and sights inside her mind. The use of color vs. lack of color makes it visually interesting. Same with the fruit and taste. Interestingthat Interesting that the doc has some insight into what’s going on inside Greta, but not a clue about its intensity. Nicely constructed story that needs to be read more than once.
Ken Oguss Thank you, Allen. The types of things Greta dreams about and their connection to the outside world are based on what I read in the linked article above. In the article the patient in a coma says how cold she felt (due to the special cooling pillows used to keep her fever in check.) I read up on coma patients to be sure that they actually do have dreams that slip in and out of lucidity. I used a flying dream as a reaction to having her limbs moved by the nurses. Flying dreams are often connected to feelings of empowerment. I love that feeling of being able to swim up into the air and fly
Allen FerreiraAllen Ferreira Me too. Haven’t done it in a long time, but the feeling of natural power remains.
Cheryl ShoreCheryl Shore This is a beautiful story with vivid imagery. At first, I wondered if you were headed on a mythology revision, based on the three golden apples. But, yes...the hospital sequence brought it all together. Now, I'm wondering if a medically induced coma is different from a "natural" one - I need to do some research.
Allen FerreiraAllen Ferreira Me too. Haven’t done it in a long time, but the feeling of natural power remains.
Cheryl ShoreCheryl Shore This is a beautiful story with vivid imagery. At first, I wondered if you were headed on a mythology revision, based on the three golden apples. But, yes...the hospital sequence brought it all together. Now, I'm wondering if a medically induced coma is different from a "natural" one - I need to do some research.
Susan AlleySusan Alley Large contrasts - Greta in color; others drab. Greta moving swiftly and with agility; others slowly. Greta has resources and shares with those who have nothing. Greta the dreamgirl, and Greta the aging coma victim. The tears are lovely - love of the taste of ice cream, the love of Daddy, and the simple biologic tear to keep one's eyes moist. I was touched by all the contrasts. My imagination went deeper into both stories. Thank you, Ken.
Stephen W SedgwickStephen W Sedgwick Immersive- colors, sensations, memories, items, feelings. All ingredients to please , enlighten and instill thought as the master baker bakes his creation.
INVITATION: If you have read this story and have constructive comments or feedback to share, please direct message me on FaceBook. Many thanks! Ken Oguss
